Cool in Your Code » singles

Single Edition: Sunday Morning Me Time

Cool in Your Code — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 18:17:32 +0000

If you think you have to be part of a couple to get the most out of life, think again. Our Code Word contributor, Sherri Langburt, is full of expert advice on life beyond dating. Whether it’s travel ideas, beauty tips, financial guidance, or recipes for entertaining, the founder of lifestyle blog Single Edition has something to say. Log on to find new ways to enjoy your freedom and get the most out of single life!

Sunday Morning Me Time
What to Do When it’s Not Quite Breakfast and Not Quite Lunch

Sunday mornings, Dave lolls around his apartment until 10:30, then grabs a copy of the Times and his baseball hat and heads out the door. He bobs and weaves through the couples who are heading out for morning-of-shame meals and the maze of children being pushed along in strollers, bikes or sleds. They are all going to one of the multitude of brunch places on New York City’s Upper West Side.

For more than 7 years, since he first arrived from Philly, Dave has been relishing this time alone on Sunday morning. “What you gonna have, the sweet, salty or a combo?” asks the waitress. Dave confesses it has been a tough week of working hard both in the office and at the gym so he is going for the works: a platter consisting of three eggs over easy, side orders of sausage and home fries plus two bonus pancakes which he saves for dessert. For many, the ritual of by-yourself-brunch makes not for the epitomic Seinfeldian experience, especially when one is surrounded by couples struggling over the discomfort of a morning -after meal or sticky fingered, all-too-perky toddlers. For others, like Dave, who sits back digesting the news of the week in between sips of coffee and links of pork, Sunday morning brunch is a time to reflect and unwind. Sunday does not have to be about families and lovers. So before your next weekend sets in, try one of the following:

1. Find Your Spot: Find a place that suits you, whether it is the menu or atmosphere. And it does not have to be the typical greasy spoon. If you prefer to avoid crowded spaces or long waits most hotels offer brunch buffets on weekends to passersby. Indeed, many upscale restaurants extend Sunday morning meal times until about 2:00 p.m. So scope out your territory for someplace that feels right, cozy and where you can unwind… it may even be the juice bar at your gym!

2. Decide on a To-Do: Who needs someone to talk to when you have something you enjoy doing to keep you entertained? So if a newspaper is too mundane, find a guilty pleasure whether it be a Sudoku, trashy magazine or letter writing to help make the morning more about you and your personal time.

3. Make it a Family Affair: We are all pressed for time, and it’s all too easy to forget the simple but meaningful roles parents and other close relatives have in our lives. So, if family is what you are craving and yours live nearby, make weekend brunches the time you spend together.

4. Convene with Your Crew: Catching up with your crew over bagels and coffee, what could be better? To quote Sex in the City’s Carrie Bradshaw “There are very few things this New Yorker loves as much as Sunday brunch. You can sleep until noon and still get eggs anywhere in the City, and alcohol is often included with the meal.” Why not do as they do in the sitcoms and make brunch your weekly “private dish session.”

5. Take-it-indoors: Who needs a special someone to bring you breakfast in bed when there are so many places that will deliver. Not to mention some fabulous recipe collections like the The Golden Pear Cafe Cookbook : Easy Luscious Recipes for Brunch and More from the Hamptons’ Favorite Café with dishes you can make on your own.

So sleep late and cook or order in, and indulge in the solitude with your own special meal in the morning.

For more of Sherri’s single insights click here.

Like this entry? Check out more from our Code Words contributors here.

How Do You Spend Your “Me Moments” In The City? Post a comment below and let us know.

Code Words: Single Edition – The Single Diner’s Dilemma

Cool in Your Code — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 19:17:30 +0000

The Single Diner’s Dilemma
What To To When It’s Time to Settle Up

Over chips and guacamole at a favorite Mexican restaurant in Manhattan earlier this week, my friend took a moment to rant when I inquired about her dinner out with some of our married friends.

“I cannot believe I paid $80 for a meal last night when all I ate was a $14 appetizer with two glasses of wine,” said the 32 year old single New Yorker.”

Whether watching one’s spending, alcohol intake or keeping a close count on calories, dining out en masse can push a single person to break their budget every time. Ever wonder why lightweights get penalized when pulling out their purses at the end of a good meal even if they abstained from drinking, dessert and so much more?

According to a study published two years ago in the Economic Journal, titled “The Inefficiency of Splitting the Bill,” the authoring economists observed what they called “the unscrupulous diner’s dilemma.” The research suggests that a person’s consumption will be smaller when the payment for the meal is calculated by each individual’s order and larger when they know in advance that the bill will be split evenly amongst the diners.

It’s upsetting when co-diners have no problem passing the buck to you, especially when those across the table are some of your very best companions. So do you speak up and risk insulting fellow diners? Or do you cough up the cash and leave with a bad aftertaste? Here are some tips we received from the singles we interviewed:

1. Recruit an Advocate: Enlist the help of a close friend before the meal who can speak up on your behalf, says Ken from NYC. Having someone else point out an inequitable distribution will make others sensitive to the situation without putting the burden on you.

2. Join in the After Party: “Agree to meet for after-dinner cocktails,” says Mike from Brooklyn. When you show up at the tail end of a dinner, it’s easy to pay the server on the spot with cash so you don’t get sucked for another buck!

3. Excuse Yourself: “I hand over my ‘portion’ in cash, then head straight to the bathroom. It works like a charm every time,” says Will from NYC.

4. Appoint a Secretary: When dining out with couples, my single friends make sure that one of us takes charge of divvying up the bill based on consumption so we are not charged unfairly.

5. Make Pre-arrangements: “Call the restaurant in advance or discreetly ask the server for individual bills upon arrival,” says Liz. Most places do not see this as a difficult request, just as long as everyone pays the proper gratuity.

For more of Sherri’s single insights click here.

Like this entry? Check out more from our Code Words contributors here.

Where do you go for cheap eats? Post a comment below and let us know.

Code Words: Single Edition

Cool in Your Code — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 20:49:00 +0000

It’s Not Who You Know…It’s Who You’re Willing to Talk To
Tips for Happier, Healthier and Friendlier Hook Ups

As children our parents teach us never to talk to strangers. This life lesson in safety does not translate well as we get older. Some of the best and most interesting connections are made when unintentional conversations are initiated.

Take Jamie, the 40 year old television producer from Manhattan, who has been enlisting the business consulting services of Susan, for more than a year after connecting with her on a crowded subway train. Many of our Single Edition subscribers reported similar happy hook-up tales that were enriching, educational and entertaining when they suspended their stranger danger concerns.

If you are not blessed with the gift of glib or serendipitous situations do not come your way, you may want to consider these helpful tips:

1. Disregard Dating: Individuals that fixate on finding that next special someone fail to engage with otherwise interesting people the minute they are disqualified from the dating pool. If you are consumed with picking up, try linking up with those around you instead. When you relinquish the constant quest for love, you will likely find many other fulfilling forms of companionship.

2. Don’t Discriminate: When it comes to the chemistry of friendship, there are no set rules of attraction. Don’t shy away from people who are older or judge them on outward appearances. Susan whose chance encounter with Jamie led to a working arrangement now confesses she thought he was a nerdy kid straight out of college because of the knapsack and tuque he was toting that morning. Approaching each new person without pre-conceived opinions will open many doors.

3. Suspend Suspicion: When in the company of strangers it’s only natural to have doubts. However not everyone comes to you with ill or calculated intentions. The best way to play it safe is to trust your gut. By letting your intuition guide you’ll be able to eke out the good from the bad within minutes of a conversation.

4. Forgo the Happy Hermit: If take-out and HBO are a nightly activity then it’s time to turn on that Tivo. Don’t let venturing out solo give you angst – chances are you will not be alone for long. People are fascinated with others who have the courage, confidence and desire to be alone and will likely strike up a conversation. So find a local dining spot to call your own, sign up for that language course you’ve been meaning to take or simply head to the local bookstore for some literary browsing.

5. Crack the Habit: Does your life play the movie Ground Hog Day? One of the best ways to break the monotony of single living is by changing up your routine. Instead of the isolating car ride, try commuting by bus, subway or train where each ride is a social adventure. Swap out the tiresome treadmill for a group spin class or surf the net at an Internet café rather than in the confines of your living room.