Cool in Your Code

East Village Idiot

What brought you to New York?
I came to New York twice, actually. I moved to New York from home in Rhode Island right after college, swearing it was the best thing to do for my career. A little over a year into my first stint in New York, I got sick of it. Admittedly, I lived in Greenpoint, I worked like a dog, and I was here for the Blackout in 2003, so that probably didn’t help to solidify any love for New York that I had. I left New York City in disgust, and moved to Vermont.

You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone, and a year later, I missed New York badly and moved right back. I haven’t looked back since. I call that period in Vermont “my sabbatical.”

What do you love about living in New York?
I have a love/hate relationship with New York. The things I love are also the things I hate. I love the subway, but I hate the MTA. I love where I live, but I hate the rowdy teenagers who wake me up every morning. I love the nightlife in New York, but I hate paying six dollars for a beer. I love the fact that New York is a 24/7 town, but I hate it when a truck will rumble down my street and wake me up at 3am. I love the fact that I love all these things about New York, but I hate the fact that I hate them all, too.

What do you think makes a New Yorker?
There are plenty of born-and-bred New Yorkers who will swear that transplants like me will never be New Yorkers. I guess they forget that this city depends on people moving from other places.

To me, you become a New Yorker when you stop doing the things that I complain about on my blog. When you stop walking like a tourist, when you learn to get in a cab before you tell them you’re going to JFK, when you stop paying a $30 cover to gawk at celebrities in a nightclub, and when you learn to love New York’s idiosyncrasies and start complaining about other people doing those same things… that’s when you become a New Yorker. It’s a slow, steady process of adaptation.

What surprises you about New York or New Yorkers?
Nothing surprises me anymore. When I moved here five years ago, I think there was just one surprise: New York makes order out of chaos. The chaos scared me before I moved here. Anyone who doesn’t embrace it is bound to hate New York.

When you leave New York, what do you miss the most?
I miss greeting the bartenders and the regulars at my neighborhood bar, Professor Thom’s. I miss the meaningless small talk at my bodega. I miss the fact that the lady at my laundromat always greets me by name when I walk by. It’s always the little things that I miss – these are the things that always bring me comfort when I come back home to New York.

Do you know any tricks or insider info?
Do I know any tricks? What kind of interview is this?!

Oh, those kind of tricks. Yeah, sure I do. And those tricks come from years of city living. For example, don’t bother buying a backpack – you’ll never be able to wear it here and you’ll annoy everyone else in a crowded subway car if you even try. Don’t ever live along the G Train. If you decide to live in the outer boroughs, be prepared to find your neighborhood haunts and make them your own, or you’ll find yourself spending hundreds of dollars on cabs from Manhattan every month. Also, if they’re around this spring, go to the Red Hook Ball Fields and feast on as much real Latin American food as you can… before the city tries to shut them down again.

Tell us about your blog… what is the premise, what are your main coverage areas, how did you get started?
My blog started without a purpose at all. I was just throwing stuff up in the early days that I thought was particularly funny. When I started, I was in the midst of the honeymoon period of my second stint in New York. When that faded, I seemed to find my voice when I started getting angry or whiny. I don’t have a geographic focus, but since my humor is mostly observational, you’ll find me around home in the East Village more than anywhere else. I don’t really limit myself to any topic, but I always try to keep it tongue-in-cheek. No matter how angry I might sound, I’m a pretty light-hearted person. When people take what I say on my blog too seriously, that’s when it gets me into trouble.

Best corny tourist attraction that you secretly love?
I’d hardly call it a tourist attraction, but whenever I have some spare time on a nice day, I go downtown and take the Staten Island Ferry round trip. The views are still breathtaking, and if you take it at sunset, it’s better than any sightseeing spot in New York – at ground level or 86 stories high.

Best neighborhood bar?
Professor Thom’s (219 2nd Ave.) has been my regular spot for almost two years now. I must admit – I was born and bred a Boston Red Sox fan, and this bar is the Red Sox fans’ home base in New York City. They have a great selection of microbrews, a food menu that I know by heart, and over a dozen TVs to watch the Red Sox, Patriots, Celtics, Bruins… or the Yankees, Giants, Knicks, or Rangers, too.

Best late night joint?
I can never limit myself to just one spot. Whenever I have a visitor in my neighborhood, they always insist on Veselka for late-night eats. But I prefer the cheaper and less crowded Odessa on Avenue A. I was introduced to Odessa by one of my good Ukrainian friends less than a week after moving to New York. Their pierogi are fantastic, but it’s their borscht that really hits the spot.

Last cultural thing that you did (movie, museum, theatre, etc…)?
I saw The Farnsworth Invention last night. I love Aaron Sorkin and there’s a soft spot in my heart for non-fiction, even if he does take some liberties. I’ve always been a fan of Hank Azaria, so it was an easy sell to get me to that show. Coincidentally, the screenplay of the last movie I saw was written by Aaron Sorkin, too: Charlie Wilson’s War. Phillip Seymour Hoffman deserves an Oscar nod for that one – if they even have the Oscars this year.

Best fancy schmancy restaurant?
I am very blessed to work in a field where I get the opportunity to have business lunches at places I could never afford on my own. I’ve always been a big fan of Blue Water Grill (31 Union Sq. W.) for both its location (close to home, close to the office) and its seafood (I come from The Ocean State – it’s tough to win me over with fish). Toloache (251 W. 50th St.) just opened a few months ago, but it’s quickly becoming my favorite Mexican restaurant in the city. It’s as close as you can get to being authentic without being completely overrun by tourists or being served on a soccer field in Red Hook.

Best place to meet members of the opposite sex?
Most likely, a screening of Sex and the City: The Movie. Although they’ll have absolutely no interest in you, because they’ll be too busy looking for Mr. Perfect after the movie. Then, years later, they will turn to E-Harmony when they realize that Mr. Perfect doesn’t exist, nor does he make a six-figure salary or live in a massive loft apartment. No, I’m not bitter at all.

Best moviehouse?
Any movie theater in New York – preferably one with stadium seating – before noon. I rarely go to the movies, because I can’t justify paying $12 to sit in a dark room for two hours while being bombarded with advertisements that can probably offset the cost of seeing the movie to begin with. Why does seeing a movie at 11:45am cost half as much as seeing it at 12:15pm? It’s one of this city’s great mysteries.

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Chris Carrara
http://eastvillageidiot.com
[email protected]

Filed under: around the blog, blog, east village, manhattan